22 September 2023
Good morning gents
I hope you're enjoying this lovely day!
I have been busy taking lots of boobie photos lately, so that I can compare them to my post-op results in a few weeks time. I thought you guys might like to see them. I will post some side-by-side "before and afters" down the track, but for now, here's a bunch of my "before" shots.
I have a lot more photos to share with you in the coming weeks. I've made sure that I have enough content saved up so that I can keep posting during my time off (even when I'm on bed-rest and looking like crap lol).
Just a quick reminder that I only have 2 weeks left until my break, so don't forget to lock in your final bookings if you haven't already done so.
And now, as promised, let's talk about Cunnilingus! You guys have been really keen for this one, so I hope I can share something new and insightful.
I wish I could tell you that there’s a magic recipe for oral on her. Like a perfect formula of just the right tempo and rhythm, the exact pressure, and the specific series of tongue patterns. But alas, that’s not really what it comes down to. The truth is that being great at going down on her, is more about the don’ts than the do’s. It’s one of those things that when it’s good, it’s incredible, but when it’s bad, it can be torture! So it’s all about how you can avoid causing discomfort, and how you can ensure that nothing impedes all of the lovely sensations of simply feeling a warm wet mouth on her most sensitive of areas. It has more to do with an absence of bad techniques, rather than the presence of good ones. In short, if you can avoid causing her pain, then there’s a very good chance you will cause her pleasure.
I would say that the two most common mistakes are:
1. Sucking the clitoris far too hard
2. Rubbing your stubble against her
A lot of men are doing these two things. You could have the most amazing technique in every other way, but if you’re hurting her like this, then I’m afraid it won’t matter. No amount of pleasure can overshadow this kind of pain. But the good news is, once you are aware of them, they are easy things to stop doing!
I think sucking the clitoris too hard comes from the belief that a woman needs more stimulation than we actually do. Perhaps you enjoy when a woman sucks really vigorously on your cock, so you assume we would like a similar magnitude of suction on our clit. We don’t! If you’re going to apply any suction, keep it very light and in short soft teasing pulses. Do not apply ongoing suction with no pauses, and definitely do not apply a strength of suction that draws all of her blood to the surface of the skin. Giving her a hickie down there is not the goal, not unless you want her to go numb.
Are you familiar with the air-suction types of sex toys like the Satisfyer Pro and the Womanizer? They’re really popular because they mimic the sensations of oral sex, and are well-known to be some of the most orgasmic female sex toys on the market. For some baffling reason, they have 11 levels of suction. This is just so unnecessary! I’ve never heard of a woman using it above level 2 or 3. I think I used level 4 once when I was tipsy and desensitised but I would never usually enjoy that kind of strength. The higher levels are just way too intense. They literally make you want to throw the toy across the room. And that’s what I feel like doing to some guys who suck too hard. I have an involuntary impulse to grab their head and shove it away from me immediately. If you can get hold of one of these toys, set it to level 2 and place it against the back of your hand and you’ll be able to gauge what kind of suction we want. It’s probably a lot gentler and lighter than you’d expect. There are so many nerve endings down there, it really doesn’t take much. If you’re still unsure, it might just be safer to lick rather than suck.
Okay the stubble thing… I’m not asking you to be clean-shaven every time you want to Dine at the Y. (DATY is the sex industry term for cunnilingus by the way). But if you do have facial hair, be mindful that you shouldn’t be firmly pressing, grinding or dragging your whole chin, cheeks and nose into her. I can’t emphasise enough how soft and delicate we are down there (especially the clitoris, vulva and inner thighs). We can become very easily irritated! It takes less than a minute to rub her raw, and then your chances of saving things and making her cum are next to none. Try to maintain some distance and let your lips and tongue be the only points of contact. I know this makes you fatigue faster, but hey, they don’t call it a “head job” for nothing. It can be hard work. Women know this better than anyone (cue the stiff jaw, neck ache, and bruised lips from giving a blow job).
I want to touch on three other tips that I think can really change your Head Game...
Firstly, don’t make a beeline straight for her clitoris. Yes, you read that right, I said don’t. If you Google “How To Pleasure a Woman” I’m sure you’ll still find a lot of outdated information focused on how to locate the clitoris. For too long it's been a common joke that men don’t know how to find the clit. We’ve all heard it. And I’m sure many men have wondered, “is it me they’re talking about?” Because of this rhetoric, most men have made it their mission to know where the clit is. But this has created a new problem. The second our panties hit the floor, you promptly bombard our clit with a plethora of relentless sensations. (I know what you’re thinking. First we complain that it’s not enough. Now we’re complaining that it’s too much! Us women are never bloody happy right?!?) The thing is, in your rush to prove that you know where the clit is, we’re getting physically over-stimulated before our mind has a chance to catch up. If you recall, in my last Sex Tip I talked about sexual desire being largely psychological for women. We often need time to want to be pleasured; time for our mental interest in sex to flourish. If instead of attacking the clit right away, you take a less direct approach and create a sense of anticipation, the eventual sensations on the clit will be something she revels in rather than something she shies away from. You have to let her mentally get ahead of it; make her want it before she gets it. You do this by teasing her thighs, neck, back, all of her erogenous zones, before you slowly work your way to her clit. As cliché as it sounds, the journey is just as important as the destination.
Another big tip is to know when to stop. If she’s pushing your head away, you need to stop what you’re doing. There are two possibilities for why she is pushing you away. Either she’s hypersensitive because you’ve already made her cum (Yay you!), or what you are doing is hurting her and she needs you to change what you’re doing. To figure out which one of these has occurred, all you have to do is consider how she was responding just prior to her pushing your head away. Did it seem like an “oh” or an “ouch”? Either way, what you do next is exactly the same. You stop! Listen to what she’s telling you and pull back. She’s not being playful, it’s not a little game, it hurts and you need to stop right away.
Knowing that a woman is hypersensitive, is taken by a lot of men as a compliment. And I guess in a way it is, it means you’ve done something right. But you can swiftly undo all of your hard work and even turn the experience into a very unpleasant one for her, if you don’t respect her cues to stop. She knows her body best, so please pay attention if she is verbally or physically communicating that she’s had enough. “Too much of a good thing” and all that.
My last big tip is that often “Less is More.” Some men are just doing way too much! It's flattering that you're so into it, but getting carried away could easily become counterintuitive. I think part of the problem is that the slang terms for cunnilingus can be really misleading. When we call it “eating her out,” “carpet munching,” or “muff diving,” it sounds a lot more aggressive and invasive than it should be. I’ve even heard women brag that “he ate me out like it was his last supper.” I think that what they’re really praising is his enthusiasm and passion for giving head. She’s not saying that he literally devoured her like a starving rabid beast with no self-control, because obviously that would be pretty darn painful. If I’m going to use a euphemism to describe it, I prefer an “Australian Kiss” or “To Smooch the Cooch,” because while they sound quite cute, they also conjure imagery of someone making out with my pussy, and that's just so much more pleasurable than being gobbled on.
A couple of other random thoughts…
To my knowledge, most women don't like being penetrated with a tongue (you know when you literally poke your tongue in and out of the vaginal opening?) It’s not that it feels painful, it’s just kind of awkward and frankly, unnecessary. If you have the urge to do it for your own personal enjoyment, then that’s fine I guess, but don’t expect her to get anything out of it. I’ve also never met a woman who likes to have her clit chewed on or yanked away from her body, (this can be extremely painful in my experience). And lastly, do not assume that we want to get wet and sloppy like you do when oral is performed on you. I really dislike the wet cold feeling of saliva dripping down my bum haha. In this case, wetter is not better.
That’s it guys! I would love to tell you that if you follow these tips, you shall henceforth be referred to by every woman as “The Toe Curler,” but unfortunately I cannot promise that. I can’t speak on behalf of every woman as we all like different things. These are just my personal preferences, so please do take it with a grain of salt.
I do hope that the general tone of this post was informative, and not overly critical. It is hard to list all these things that men might be doing wrong and then ask them not to second-guess themselves or feel self-conscious about their technique. All I can say is that if you’re here in The Pink Room, then that means that you’re a regular client, and that means that I’m happy to continue seeing you. So by all accounts, you must be doing something right!
Next time we’re going to delve deep into fingering (if you’ll excuse the pun!)
Have a wonderful long weekend guys.
I’ll be off to the Royal Show! :)