Does Size Really Matter?
Updated: Jul 11
At least once a day I get asked the awfully loaded question: “Is my size okay?” Why is it that this one question has the power to turn big strong manly men, into nervous vulnerable little boys? I usually answer this question the way every good escort should; in the most reassuring diplomatic way possible, being ever so careful not to bruise the fragile male ego. But I’m tired of tip-toeing around this topic. It’s not in my nature to be harsh, but I want to address this with clarity and honesty. I think we should stop treating it like such a sensitive subject. Let’s approach it in a more light-hearted way, because after all, sex and all things sex-related should be nothing but fun. If you want my honest answer, here it is… The simple answer is YES, size does matter! But maybe not in the ways you think. Allow me to elaborate…
Contrary to popular belief, most girls are not “gagging” for a massive anaconda-sized cock. Don’t believe everything you see in porn. I firmly believe that cock-fright is a serious medical condition, (I’m still waiting for it to be listed on WebMD). A huge angry throbbing whang is the stuff of nightmares, and will have many-a-woman shying away in horror. So, if size does matter, what do women want? Well it all depends on context.
HOW DOES YOUR PENIS STACK UP IN THE SEX INDUSTRY?
An escort doesn’t want a cock that’s too big, but she doesn’t want one that’s too small. She wants a cock that’s jussst right. Think of her as Goldi-cocks! Every macho male with a larger than average knob, waltzes in and presents it to us as though he’s Santa Claus and all our Christmases have come at once. Little does he know that his escort is trying desperately to hide her impending sense of dread. Why don’t we like big dicks? Because if the man doesn’t respect his size, he will leave us feeling sore, which ultimately reduces our capacity to make any more money that day. Let’s not forget that this is our job; we’re not purely in it for the sex (although it is an attractive bonus). Many big-dicked-bandits don’t want to waste time on foreplay because they’re on the clock. But if you have a third leg, we’re going to require a warm-up before we are able to accommodate a member of that size. Another way that big doodles sometimes let us down, is by going slightly soft or only partially erect. A much stronger blood flow is required in order to circulate a bigger dick, and brandishing a less-than-hard rod, tends to poke and prod us in all the wrong ways. Escorts are also wary of very small cocks though. A pecker is considered very small if the closer-fit condom (the smallest commercially available size) leaves some wiggle-room, rather than fitting snugly. This is of course a concern as the condom may slip off. However, in saying all that, if your escort is a true professional, she will have strategies in place for working with any sized utensil that you are bringing to the table.
Luckily for us, the huge long Johnsons and the tiny pickles are both outliers. The majority of cocks (about 95%) are within average range. But even if your dick falls within this comfortable bracket, that doesn’t mean you’re automatically categorised as “good in bed”. Please remember that the size of your tool is irrelevant in terms of its orgasm-inducing abilities. After our booking, if you ask me if I enjoyed the sex, this will not conjure images of the length and girth of your willy. I will instead think back to the foreplay, not the penetration. I’m sorry to break it to you, but your dick has no merit in this situation. It’s the way you kissed me, the way you touched me, the way you licked me; these are the skills that will be on your sexual report card.
HOW DOES YOUR PENIS STACK UP IN THE “REAL WORLD”?
My preference for penis size in my personal life is slightly different to that in my work life. Watching a man penetrate me with a huge cock can certainly be very visually appealing. Also, there’s a weird sense of pride that happens when you can brag to your girlfriends, “my man has a big dick.” I guess it’s similar to when a man can boast to his mates that his missus has big boobs. But if a nice big cock is attached to an even bigger cock, I don’t want a bar of it. Quite frankly, a big cock means less than nothing to me if you don’t know how to treat a lady or if your attitude sucks. When delving into the dating pool, I would never disqualify a guy with a smaller than average paddle, namely because penetration alone is not enough to make me orgasm anyway. Even if you fucked me with a big ol’ 13-inch trouser snake, it’s going to be useless if you ignore my clit. If your joystick is on the smaller side, but you’re good with your fingers or tongue, your size is an absolute non-issue! Put it this way… even in a session that involves no penetration at all, if you are keen as a green bean with the foreplay, you will forever be known as an absolute sex-God in my eyes.
LEARN YOUR STRENGTHS
We’ve all heard the cliché: “It’s not the size that matters, it’s how you use it.” Yes, there is a lot of truth to this statement, but I think it’s slightly misleading because it implies that there is a correct way that every guy should be laying the pipe. It suggests that either you’re doing it the right way, or you’re doing it the wrong way. Like there is some kind of universal guide to wielding one’s sword. Gentlemen, please hear me when I say that there is no single “right way” to sling your junk! There is however, a technique that might be best for you depending on your size. I’m sure you’re already well-acquainted with your little man downstairs, but do you know him well enough to play to his strengths?
If you’re a guy with a big long tent-pole of a cock, you have two choices: either spend some time getting her wet first before you insert it… or use a shit-tonne of lube. The ever-so romantic gesture of whacking your hard-on out of your boxers and merely presenting it to her, is not enough to get her wet. Sorry but your boner is not quite as magical as you’d like it to be. We will neither swoon, nor start gushing like Niagara Falls. You need to get down there and warm her up first so she is ready to take on your big banana. If she is on top in cowgirl, allow her to lay close to you, chest-to-chest. Do not push her up into a seated-in-the-saddle position because you’re going to poke her in the cervix and this fucking hurts… a lot! It’s just too deep (and not in a good way). The good news is, that only guys with a long schlong are able to fuck a girl while standing up against a wall. This just doesn’t work with a shorter salami, it will keep coming out. Small guys, you’re not going to like what I’m about to say… Doggy and prone bone (flat doggy) are not going to be the best positions for you (especially if your lady has a little extra junk in the trunk). You’re going to find it difficult to get all up in that. Stick to angles that work in your favour, such as missionary, with her legs spread wide to allow you the most access.
Now for some practical advice for ding dong sizes across the entire spectrum: Firstly, you don’t always have to be the one doing the fucking. Sometimes you should just lay still and let us fuck you. We won’t revoke your man-card I promise. We know you’re just trying to help, but if we’re in cowgirl you can throw off our rhythm by doing too much underneath us. If you grip our hips and yank us up and down it can mess up our flow. And if you try to thrust upwards to meet us, we will feel like we’re riding a Bucking Bull. Sometimes you just have to learn to take it!
Secondly, I’ve never met a girl who likes jackhammer sex. We’re not rabbits in the wild trying to copulate before an opportunistic predator ambushes us. So, what’s the rush? If it’s stinging your balls as you slap against her, then it’s stinging her pussy and you need to calm your farm. I believe Shakespeare once said, “‘Tis better to proceed in a slow rhythm, than to pound swiftly, lose all coordination, and break thy penis” … or something like that.
Thirdly, remember to stroke, not poke. Have you ever seen Magic Mike grind his groin against the floor? I’m talking about that dance move that’s kind of reminiscent of the 80’s “worm”. Well there’s a reason girls practically squeal when he does that. That motion of the abs, hips, pelvis and thighs working in a synchronised wave, shows us that here’s a man who knows how to fuck us right. Because instead of smashing away like a big brute, he’s sensuously stroking the ground beneath him in a delicious rhythm. It’s all about the stroke!
So, lads… get out of your head about your penis size. Be it a bratwurst, or a cocktail wiener, it’s really not all that serious. Size does matter, but if you spend more time learning about how to use your size and less time obsessing over something you can’t change, then you’re going to have a much better time… and so is your lady.