Oral Presentations 101
Updated: Jul 11
When you present for an oral assessment, there are certain things you can do to ensure your presentation is well-received by your audience. Likewise, when you present to an escort for a booking, or even to a lady you wish to date, there are ways of making yourself irresistible to her. A genuine, earnest nature, and a compulsion to treat those around you with kindness, are undoubtedly the true mark of a man; but there are a few additional nuances that can take you to the next level. Here are my practical tips for impressing the ladies, achieving success in the dating-game, and boosting your inherent sex appeal!
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If men are visual, then women are olfactory. Nothing gets us wetter than a sexy smelling man. In my opinion, Versace Pour Homme is the ultimate seductive scent, or Cool Water by Davidoff for a more affordable (but equally alluring) alternative. It’s a sound investment if ever there was one. If you have a particular aversion to using cologne, then as a bare minimum you should be using deodorant or men’s body wash. That fresh-out-of-the-shower smell can have us weak at the knees. There’s also something to be said for a man’s natural smell after a hard day on the job, especially if he works with wood, metal or engine oil. But just be aware that pheromones work in an unpredictable way. While a woman who is in love with you might find your natural body odour enticing, a woman who hasn’t yet developed an emotional connection to you, may not be quite so enamoured. It’s important to know your audience.
Not sure what to wear for your oral presentation? Here are some never-fail items that will have you first in and best dressed. At the top of the list is an oldie but a goodie: grey tracksuit pants (underwear optional). Now normally I wouldn’t recommend wearing your trackies out and about, but you are reporting to the bedroom in this case, so you should be dressed for comfort not speed. Women like men in trackie pants for the same reason that men like women in yoga pants: because when you cop a feel, you can appreciate every curve and crevice beneath. And if you’re going commando under there, we can also catch a glimpse of the outline of your package. It leaves just enough to the imagination. Another personal fave, is a simple fitted long-sleeve top. I love the way it defines a man’s shoulders and upper body, and it makes me think of being wrapped up in his arms. Lastly, socks and jocks do matter guys! Dirty, smelly or ripped undergarments are a no-go. Why not invest in a pair of Calvin Klein boxers? They’re a staple in any man’s closet. You don’t have to wear them on the daily, but pull them out for your special oral presentations. It’s the equivalent to a woman putting on lingerie for you. Marky Mark eat your heart out. She’ll absolutely froth!
Now I’m not saying you have to add a mani-pedi to your monthly schedule, or that you even have to clean under your fingernails regularly. In fact, if you have a physical job, we can understand that your hands might be dirty 99% of the time. We actually like that, it’s a sign of a hardworking man, and that never goes out of style. But please PLEASE keep your nails short and trimmed. It not only keeps bacteria and germs to a minimum, but it also makes a little “digital stimulation” action a whole lot more pleasurable for your lady. In fact, nails that are anything less than neat and trimmed, won’t be making it anywhere near my soft sensitive lady-bits. Settle down Wolverine.
My personal preference is for a man to keep his natural foliage. In my opinion, whether it’s a sprinkling here and there, or a whole woodland forest, a man’s body-hair is masculine and handsome. If I wanted to feel up on something supple and smooth, I would be with a woman. (Hold on wait, that sounds quite nice… Can I have both?) I love resting my head against a man’s chest after sex, running my fingers through his sexy chest hair. It drives me wild. Plus, I find that the hair actually holds onto the cologne so that the scent lingers even longer. That alone can have me ready to go again. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do a little trimming around your package to keep it neat and tidy. I don’t want to get lost in the jungle after all. But I think a full back-sac-and-crack wax is just not necessary. F.Y.I., I also find a 5-o’clock shadow to be a huge turn-on, and a fresh haircut is a total panty dropper.
Lip balm is not makeup. Let me say that louder for the people in the back. Lip balm is NOT makeup. It’s a basic personal hygiene item, like a comb or a toothbrush. Every man should own some (Lucas’ Papaw Ointment is a great option). If it’s chapped, take it back! Ask any woman and she will tell you: the only thing better than passionately kissing a man with nice soft lips… is when those nice soft lips go down on you.
Picture this… A beautiful woman is laying on your bed, naked and gorgeous. You gently tease her knees apart, eager to dive between her legs and give her a taste. At this moment, how much of a difference does it make if she is clean and fresh and smelling like water, compared to if she is smelling funky and sour? It is so important to be ultra clean for your oral presentation. And that means doing a thorough clean, including under your foreskin (if you have one). It’s not enough to just quickly sweep the nasties under the rug. Because they might be out of sight, but they’re not out of mind if she can still smell them. If you don’t pull back the drapes, how do you even know what kinds of horrors are lurking beneath there. Trust me, this can be the difference between her enthusiastically moving up and down on your cock like she’s bobbing for apples on Halloween… or her moving up and down like a lacklustre broken-down jack-in-the-box who’s seen better days. Do you want her to passionately French-kiss your cock like it’s her prom date? Or timidly lick it like she’s not sure if she can identify the flavour? I’m telling you guys; the only thing that ruins your sex-life quicker than poor hygiene, is marriage (kidding!) But clean under your foreskin and watch as your Virgin Mary transforms into Gina Valentina! Satisfaction guaranteed.
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I sincerely hope this blog hasn’t left you feeling as though women are shallow and impossible to please. The truth is, you don’t have to turn your whole life upside-down to impress us. Well not here in humble ol’ Australia anyway. In the UK, metrosexual men are extremely desirable. It’s popular there to be as buff as Popeye, to wax from chest to toes, to spray-tan, and to apply enough hair gel to grease a barbecue. Being a “pretty-boy” is almost a prerequisite in modern-day England. Fortunately, in Australia, we like our men a little more rugged. I would actually be quite alarmed if during the course of dating a man, I found out that he owed more beauty products than me! That being said, caring about the way you present yourself and putting in just a smidge of effort, can be very attractive. Try a couple of these simple tips, and I’m sure your oral presentation will earn you a standing ovation.