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  • Writer's pictureJasmine Lane

The Best Medicine

Updated: Jul 11, 2020

I masturbated twice a day for 30 days. Here’s what happened...

I don’t know about you, but so far, 2019 has had me feeling a little stressed and out-of-sorts. I’ve recently found myself lacking a routine or any kind of structure in my life. I wish I could be one of those 5am-yoga-going, Bonsai-tree-clipping, green-tea-drinking, Reiki-practicing kind of girls… but I’m just not. I’ve tried meditation and deep-breathing; it’s just not for me. But what I lack in focus, maybe I can make up for in sex drive. Maybe self-love is the cure-all. Instead of my upcoming exams being the first thing on my mind when I wake up in morning, and instead of bills and taxes being the last thing on my mind before I go to sleep at night, I decided to try to fill that time with much more pleasurable pursuits. For the past 30 days, I masturbated every morning and every night. Even when I wasn’t really in the mood, even when I had a million other things to do that day, and even when I would much rather push the snooze button to get a few more minutes of shut-eye. I pushed through to make the magic happen. What a trooper I am!

I should preface this by saying that while masturbating twice a day is just a slow Monday for some of you, my regular masturbation habits were significantly less than this. I would say once or twice a week on average. Could a regime of frequent masturbation be the remedy for my high levels of cortisol (the primary stress hormone)?

Here are the results…

  • I experienced a significantly better quality of sleep over this past month. Most notably, I was able to fall asleep more easily, I felt more refreshed upon waking, and I experienced less interruptions during my sleep.

  • I also had some pretty vivid and awesome sex dreams. No actual orgasms during my sleep though (although I’ve only actually had a handful of those in my life so they’re quite rare).

  • As the month progressed, I noticed that my arousal became more efficient. Both during my solo-sessions, and my bookings with clients, I was able to reach climax in a much shorter time.

  • I also experienced longer and stronger orgasms, both on my own and with a partner.

  • I began to develop more control over my orgasms, including being able to keep quiet rather than screaming the house down.

  • I now consider masturbation a true act of self-care, just like calling a friend to talk you through a tough time, or running a bubble-bath when you’ve had a busy week. With each passing day, setting aside that time just for me and my own pleasure, improved my feelings of well-being and happiness. It sounds strange, but I also began to feel a sense of bonding with myself. It was like being wrapped up in a cocoon of kindness and tenderness all for me, myself and I. They should rename “Chicken Soup for the Soul” to “KY-Jelly for the Soul.”

  • There were also physical benefits after the 30 days. It was almost like following a workout program for my pelvic muscles, and I’m sure my abs and butt got a bit of a workout too. All those orgasms can only be good news for your muscle tone.

  • There seemed to be a marked improvement in my mood, stress levels and focus. But that’s not really surprising given all the endorphins buzzing around. I know my findings are subjective, but I can definitely attest to a general sense of relaxation and significantly less tension.

  • After 30 days of consistent masturbation, my sex drive was actually through the roof. I’ve always found this to be an interesting paradox. I have never had an orgasm and then thought, “well that’s it for this month, it’s out of my system.” On the contrary, once I get a taste of it, it only makes me want it more. And true to form, the more I masturbated, the more I found myself fantasising about sex throughout the day, even at the most inopportune times.

All in all, I have no regrets about how I’ve spent the last 30 days. I’ve come to accept that meditation, affirmations and all that other self-help book rigmarole is just not really my thing. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t find my own ways of achieving inner peace and serenity. Some girls are “my-body-is-a-temple” girls, and others just like to sit inside their temple and play with their pussies. Each to their own.

Stay tuned for my next blog, “I abstained from masturbation for 30 days.” Hahaha... next joke…

Jasmine x


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