The Super-Power That Every Escort Must Possess

There is one unique trait that makes us escorts absolute warrior princesses; One special talent that not too many other ladies are able to master in their lifetime. It’s an immunity of sorts, like a Teflon shield that deflects the dangers and perils that might threaten us. This impenetrable armour that we possess, serves to protect our most vulnerable selves and helps us safeguard our own fragile hearts.

What I’m talking about is nothing short of a super-power! Escorts have the uncanny ability to fight the “Love Hormone”: Oxytocin. This hormone, affectionately termed the “Cuddle Chemical,” is released during and after intimacy, most notably following sexual intercourse. It is the universe’s way of fostering feelings of closeness and love between two human beings, so that we might satisfy the Grand Design: To procreate! The cynics among us will argue that love is nothing more than a construct created by chemicals released in the brain, so that us poor unsuspecting fools will continue to breed in a bid to further the human race. The romantic in me likes to believe that there is a deeper, more existential explanation than that. But either way, we can’t dispute the science. It’s in our biochemical make-up to experience those warm fuzzy feelings after sex. In fact, it’s widely accepted that after sex, women (being the overly-emotional irrational nutcases that we are), are even more doomed to fall down that slippery slope of all things mushy and lovey-dovey. Let’s be honest, our feminine nature makes us just a little more susceptible to those clingy behaviours. Picture this: a man and a woman lying beside each other catching their breath after the most amazing sex. The woman is more likely to be picking out engagement rings in her head and wondering which neighbourhoods are in a good school-district for their future children… Meanwhile the man is busy patting himself on the back for what he regards as a top-notch one-night-stand. We’re just wired differently aren’t we? And yet a female escort, (unlike her non-escort counterparts), will rarely, if ever, fall into the love-trap after sex. Have you ever wondered how an escort manages to fight against her very biology? How do we remain unfazed by all that oxytocin polluting our brains? And how do we, in essence, defy science?

We’re frequently having great sex; passionate, intimate, sensual sex. And when we’re seeing repeat clientele, we’re regularly having this epic sex with the same partner week-in and week-out. We’re experiencing genuine profound connections, beautiful erotic mind-altering pleasures, and real affection and friendship each and every day that we show up to work. How is it that our minds are not cloudy and confused with this love hormone? How do we say goodbye to our clients and not be sad to see them go, or try to hold onto them longer at the risk of interfering with their home lives? How are we such excellent boundary observers who never cross the line, no matter how irresistible the man? How do we shake that relentless niggling pest that is Love? Here’s my take on it…

It’s all about compartmentalising. Each facet of our lives belongs in its designated box. It’s why we keep some things hidden from you. We’re not wearing this mask just to be purposely evasive or to seem mysterious. We’re doing it out of necessity. It’s an act of self-preservation. It allows me to draw a line in the sand and firmly separate my alter ego persona from the “real me.” This is what allows me to go home in the evening and be a regular wholesome innocent girl just studying hard and enjoying the moments spent with my family. During the day, I’m actually ironically a “lady of the night”. But when I go home at night, I’m as bright and pure as day. This dichotomy is so important. Without it, I would never be able to switch off and leave my work at work. I would take my work home with me, the ghosts of my clients would follow me around like a shadow, and being Jasmine would consume my whole life. Please understand that we choose not to disclose some parts of our inner selves, not because we don’t trust you, but because we don’t trust ourselves. It’s like Pandora’s box. The more we open up, the harder it is to close the lid. The contents of the compartments begin to mix and mingle until we are no longer able to separate one part of our life from another.

One of the other secrets behind our super-power, is our impeccable tunnel-vision. We are able to accept and enjoy the sexual connections we experience in our line of work, for what they really are… Without reading any further into them. I am a day-dreamer at heart, but I have a rule in place that I must never ever day-dream about work. If my mind starts wandering down that path, I pull myself up and squash it immediately. I don’t allow myself to romanticise the things that happen at work after the fact. Sure, I fantasise about sex with nameless faceless strangers, I watch porn, I masturbate, I visualise my desires. But never in relation to a specific client. Please don’t take offence to this. In truth, it should be taken as a complement. It means that I feel that our sex was powerful enough to warrant me pulling in the reigns on my own imagination and any budding feelings that might ensue. You see, I can’t get caught up in a fairy-tale of it being more than what it is or what it was. Our time together must be appreciated for what it truly is: a fleeting moment of bliss. For an escort, sex with a client belongs not in the future, but in the present. You and I cannot exist outside of the moment. And while I do allow myself to get lost in said moment, I must be absolutely sure that I will be able to find myself again before I go home for the day. No good can come of me remaining lost.

Another strategy behind my super-power, is that I do not allow any girlfriend tendencies to seep into my life outside of work. By this I mean that I don’t engage in too much chit-chat or texting with my clients outside of arranging an upcoming booking. None of the old “how was your day honey?” or “what are you up to babe?” If I indulged every client who attempted to engage me in that kind of ongoing communication, then I would have no time for anything else (and also my phone bills would probably skyrocket!) The Girlfriend Experience is an encounter with finite boundaries. It unfolds behind closed doors within a particular parameter of time. It cannot extend into every waking hour of the day. I am your girlfriend only for a brief time and then things quickly slip back into being a friendly yet professional relationship (not an emotional or affectionate one). I do not do this to be cruel. I do not do this because I don’t genuinely like you (because if you’ve been able to secure subsequent bookings with me then that’s a sign that I definitely do like you!) It’s merely how I choose to mitigate what might otherwise develop into some very confusing feelings (for me, but maybe for you as well).

Luckily, us escorts have our eggs in more than one basket. Seeing multiple men means we are less likely to get overly attached to just one. In any given month, our needs are being met by a small village of men. And yes, I do realise how tactless that sounds. But my point is that when we leave a booking we will feel that our temporary needs have been met, but we will also have the reassurance that when another need arises, the next man will be ready to tag in. We don’t need to harass that one man after the booking has ended, in the event that some further needs crop up. We can let him go in peace and not expect anything more from him. What do I mean by “needs”? Well one man might provide us with a much-needed orgasm after a stressful day; while another man supplies us with romance and affection; while another has us rolling around the bed with side-splitting belly-laughs; while another showers us with complements and praise; while another gives us a massage while we chat about our hopes and dreams. Women are extremely needy creatures, and an escort is no exception. Fortunately, an escort does not have to dole these needs out onto the shoulders of just one man. We are able to outsource to a variety of broad and capable shoulders! Non-escorts don’t always have this luxury. It’s easier for them to fall head-over-heels because that one man she is sleeping with, is the only man she sees. He is the sole meeter-of-her-needs. He is the apple of her eye. But us escorts have a whole fruit basket of apples and bananas, and our affections are spread out more evenly so that no single piece of fruit occupies too much of our devotion. Some of you may struggle with this, because what you really want is that responsibility to fulfil all of your lover’s needs. But for most of you who are seeking the services of an escort, it will suit you just fine, because complications and feelings, are the last thing you signed up for.

In conclusion, it is a combination of carefully cultivated coping mechanisms that lead to the development of this hormone-defying super-power. Ultimately, as an escort, the one thing I know is that although my body is for sale, my heart is not. The exchange of money, prohibits any disillusion that love has a place here. To be frank, getting paid upfront serves as a stark reminder that at its core, this is business. And while this is a significant and necessary detail of our arrangement, please be assured that it does absolutely nothing to dampen the hot steamy mind-blowing pleasure that we can experience together.

Love (in the figurative sense),

Jasmine xx